Yaaarrrrr! One legged mongolian ringneck pheasant rules!

There was once a Pirate Pheasant called Phil
whom as a gamebird is impossible to kill
          "Though a dog chewed one leg,
           I won't whine nor I beg
As long as you keep the birdfeeders filled!"

Now Phil has a hen called Lizzie
He makes her all happy and dizzy
            "I would happily pick
             A popsicle stick
To replace my broken leg gone gimpy"

Then Phil had some strong exchanges
With some philandering Hungarian Partridges
            "They steal all my seeds!
            Lizzie and I need to feed
How I wish I could stuff them all in cages!"

This is a story of courage that can't be killed
The brave one-legged pirate pheasant called Phil
             "Just wait till Liz and I have chicks
              It'll be disgustingly cute and sick"
As he nomnoms on seeds that are spilled

Sometimes when things are not going your way and you get tetchy and annoyed with the world and your painful muscles and joints, problems breathing and sleeping, endless stomach and GI pain, it's always useful to look for lessons to be learnt from Nature.

Phil still hobbles around on his good leg, feeding himself, harassing Lizzie and the partridges in his territory, squawking at Polydactylus and Kato the neighbourhood cats, and generally being a cocky bird (pun intended).

Yes, I'm being followed by a moon shadow
Moon shadow moon shadow
Leaping and hopping on a moonshadow
Moon shadow moon shadow

And if I ever lose my legs
I won't moan and I won't beg
Oh if I ever lose my legs- Oh if...
I won't have to walk no more

And if I ever lose my mouth
All my teeth, north and south
Yes, if I ever lose my mouth- Oh if...
I won't have to talk...

Did it take long to find me
I ask the faithful light
Did it take long to find me
And are you going to stay the night

-- Cat Stevens